BY COLLIN HARNESS
I have this bad habit of wanting to please people. And the vast majority of time I fail and it makes me feel bad.
For the longest time I wanted validation from my parents. And then I woke up one day and realized that I did not agree with my parents on many issues. I wanted validation, but then my values did align with wanting to please them. So that made me feel bad.
They were not doing anything wrong, it was me who was doing things wrong. I was looking out at other people and expecting them to make my life whole.
I had several relationships that failed because each time I was expecting those people to come into my life and I would make them happy while also somehow making my own life happy. Stop trying to make other people happy, it is not going to happy. Stop trying to make yourself happen, instead try and make progress.
I grew up in the city. To this day, I have always lived in a city. I am surrounded by concrete. It is always fascinating to do a long drive out into the countryside. I often forget that nature exists outside of bubble. That there is this big world out there that I never experience.
The world was created by someone just like you. Someone that had a dream and just did not stop. Steve Jobs was not special he just did not stop making progress. He had an idea and then he executed on that idea till it was a reality.
There will always be obstacles and as humans there are some things that we cannot overcome like cancer or death. But too often I think we give up too early. School has conditioned generations of people to think that we need permission from parents, teachers, government, businesses to be who we are. To do new things. To think certain ways.
But to make progress in your own life and on things that matter to you and the world around you have stop asking for permission. Go volunteer at a charity, start a business, start a new hobby, take the day off work and go to a park and do not ask for permission. Life is too short to give our life’s agency over to other people to control, when they have no idea what they are doing.
Stop asking permission to become rich. I hard to learn the hard way that no one was coming to save me. No one was going to give me a home or give me money. I had to learn about it and make progress everyday toward become financially secure. As I made better choices slowly over time I became wealthier and more secure.
You can do the same thing, but you have to stop asking for permission.