Take back your life

In the past year, I feel as if my life has been on repeat. I go to work and do the same routine day in and day out.

As humans, I think we forget that we can shape the world around us. The entire world around us was created by people just like you and me. I have to remind myself that I have power. I have self worth and value that is important.

Just because your life looks a certain way right now does not mean that it always has to. You are allowed to evolve and grow and change. And some people will not like that. You may lose friends, but you may gain new ones.

I am an introvert. I am great at interacting with the people around me. But it takes a toll on me. And I really love spending time with myself. Reading. And just thinking about life and world around me. There are certain social situations where I get fearful. I have no problem speaking in front of a crowd. But if I have to interact in a small group of people or house party I often have nothing to say or cannot find the words.


There are so many times where I let fear creep into my mind and let fear guide my decisions. Fear of failure. Fear of looking stupid. Fear of making the wrong choice. Fear can stop you from being the person that you desire to be. Fear can hold you back from having a better life.

You have to let go of the fear and just do it. This is a lifelong practice for me. Sometimes I do not feel it at all. Then it creeps back into my mind and I have to remind myself of my life goals. And I have to determine if my fear is warranted or I am just being irrational.

Stop saying yes to everything. I do like to disappoint people. So I end up saying yes to a lot of different things. My parents requests. My boyfriend’s volunteer events. Concerts my friends want to go to. Friend’s dinner. Work events outside of regular work hours. I want to do it all and be included in the group. But is it really adding value to my life? If I do all of these things am I going to reach my long term goals? Most likely no.

You only have 24hours in a day. You cannot do everything the world has to offer. You are going to miss out on certain things. But how you spend your time matters. I want to actually have accomplished something with my life and time. You need to live life with intention.

Being intentional takes a little bit of work. Both mentally and by taking physical actions. One of my favorite books is an old one called Think and Grow Rich. It is all about creating a mindset of wealth. You have to believe that you are going to be wealthy.

Too often we put ourselves down and that is the way we go through life seeing ourselves.

Our emotions are not facts.

Very often the things we believe about ourselves is not what the world sees or believes. We need to become our own biggest champion. And I often need to be physically reminded with a piece of paper or note. Or calendar reminder.

You do not get rich by winning the lottery. You get rich by making smart money decisions and doing them over and over again. You get rich by taking action. The same is true if you want to change your life.

Start with the end in mind. What is your goal? What do you want to change about your life? Then you make one small decision that is going to get your there. And you keep doing those things over and over. Time is going to march on. It may seem like a lot of work to do something on a consistent basis, but you are going to be living through those days anyway so you might as well be productive.

Consistently educate yourself.

Feed yourself a diet of knowledge.

Someone that is well educated on a certain topic is confident in their abilities. If you consistently feed yourself knowledge or self love or information about something you will be more confident in how you handle each situation. But knowledge is not a substitute for action.

If you want to make a change in your life you must take action. And sometimes that action can feel big and costly and scary. But that may be exactly what you need to do to change your life.

You need to create a system in your life of education and actions. Continually read and learn about your topic and then take consistent actions in its direction. You need to put in your 10,000 hours to become an expert and then become the expert of experts.

Hold yourself accountable

Get serious about changing your life.

I no longer wanted to work in an office where I sat across from my boss as he micromanaged everything I did. I wanted to change my career and had to stop messing around dreaming about the future and get serious about making changes.

I went back to school for another degree.

I applied for new jobs.

I signed up for an online learning platform to learn new skills.

Stop dreaming and make it a reality.

And you need to hold yourself accountable.

  • Write your goals down
  • Say them out load
  • Tell them to your friends, family and strangers
  • Ask people to follow up with you.
  • Create a plan with actions, deadlines and dates

You need to make your change concrete. The only way to do that is to put it all out there.

Making change is not easy. Sometimes it can be the hardest thing we have to do.

I have had to breakup with people because they were heading in a different direction than I was. I have been broken up with when I didn’t realize I was holding other people back.

You have to get through the hard times to get to the great times.

If you are starting a business you have to put in the grind before you can sit back and relax.

You need to take back your life. It will be hard. Be kind in the process and always try to add value to the lives of other.

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